The solar power Nazis.
 

I don?t know about you, but the Solar Power Nazis knock on my door at least twice a week despite the NO SOLICITORS sign on my door. Today I tried a new tactic:

Saleskid: Hello, I represent SunRun Solar.

Me: Hello, I don?t need solar power. I?m already off the grid.

Saleskid: With what?

Me: I have a reactor, a steam generator, and a turbine generator in my garage.

Saleskid: Really?

Me: Really.

Saleskid: I don?t believe you.

Me: I don?t care, but it?s true.

Saleskid: Can I see it?

Me: Only if you?re wearing a dosimeter. Are you wearing a dosimeter?

Saleskid: What is a dosimeter?

Me: If you don?t know what a dosimeter is, then I?ll assume you?re not wearing one.

Saleskid: Where did you get a reactor?

Me: After the Soviet Union broke up I bought a surplus 55KW Borashlovkovsky reactor for next to nothing. It came with a 25 year core. I refueled it in 2015, so we?re good for a while.

Saleskid: You?re making this up.

Me: No I?m not. Now, do you have a peddler?s license from the City of Aurora?

Saleskid: No.

Me: Scram.

I would have been far less nice than you with the clown.
Somebody would have been RIDING THE BOOT almost immediately.

Our neighbors installed solar panels. There is no battery for power outage. It just helps feed the grid and lower their monthly bill.
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I know. I should have given him the Bum?s Rush, but I wanted to have some fun with him first.

My NEXT white lie: geothermal.

I usually just ask if they have a solicitor's permit. I'll have to try that one for the solar guys. Lately it's been Verizon resellers.

I did a similar thing with home exterior cameras/security system sales dudes a couple months ago while I was in the front yard washing the car. These are typically early 20s kids with pretty much the same setup and sales delivery pitch from company to company.

While I was not quite as inventive with my 'systems' as jeffy was, I did tell them I already had a bank of cameras installed (I don't) and that we all were being recorded from three different angles as we stood there. I then told them "You don't see the cameras, do you?" They looked and looked and said no. I said good; that is what I was shooting for.

I thanked them and they walked away, looking back over their shoulders several times as they tried and tried to see where the (non existent) cameras were.

Earl

I had a pest control solicitor yesterday. He rang the bell, I saw he had an iPad or similar, and decided I would not answer. He finally went away. About 15 minutes later I was out front doing some yard work, and here comes the guy back into our cul-de-sac. He was riding a Segway. (Pretty fast, he was at our house before I could back inside!)

He yells out a greeting, so I decided I would be cordial, and say hello. He starts rattling off that he is helping others people in the neighborhood. I stop him and ask him what he was selling, and I still get the evasive dialog. He asks if I know Susie in the house behind us. Yes, I reply, she moved out. So, what are you selling?

He replies Preventative Insect Treatment.

Me: Not interested. Whatever insects we might have get eaten by the birds. So we do not have a problem.

Bug Guy: This is a preventive treatment program.

Me: I just told you I do not have a problem, so no need to treat a non-existent problem.

BugGuy: I will . . . (I cut him off.)

Me: I am going in now. Best of luck. Bye.

In the past I might have told someone to get lost. But you never know now. They might come back later to do some damage to your house to get back at you. I also no longer leave cars in the driveway. They are always garaged.
I take this approach because we raised two girls. Pranks and vandalism were an issue when they were teenagers, from guys they told to take a hike. :-)

Yeah, I get the Bugs Guys also. I always ask them if their treatment also repels salesmen.

I love that idea! I will have to use that the next time one comes by. It seems to be a frequent problem around here these days.

We haven't had people peddling solar door to door for several years now. I wish my house/yard were better suited than they are for a solar installation (including storage) as that's something I wish I could do...

I?m all for renewables and alternates also, but if I ever decide to take the plunge (which I won?t at my age) I?ll FREAKING CALL SOMEBODY!